I don’t know about you but, I have a tendency to as I begin to think speak or write, try to say very deep things. This is a problem, especially since as I begin writing this I suddenly have the need to say something very deep about the fact that I have a need to say something very deep. Confused? Well it gets worse…
Sometimes, after a hard day, or a particularly difficult happening, I’ll sit down ready to spend sometime with Jesus (yes, we’re friends) and as I begin to talk to him and try to listen to what He might have to say, I begin to almost physically feel the factory in my mind begin turning and trying to make deep thoughts. I start putting together my own personal epiphany, shutting out anything God might want to give me and only excepting something I deem life changing or what I think I need.
I remember it was a cold April morning as I got up to be at a 7:00 am prayer group for men before work. On one side of my mind I was thinking about the absurdity of people being awake for anything at 7:00 much less 6:58-and on the other side of my mind I was patting my self on the back for being a “good christian” or who are we kidding it was 7:00 in the morning before work, I was an AWESOME christian (or at least that’s what I thought).
I had a particularly hard go of it lately, it was time mixed with the stress of finding a job, needing money, rejection in auditions, searching for friends and community, and the loneliness that accompanies being (what I felt like was) on my own. I had become hard for even the ones who loved me to be around. To be honest I had started to forget who I was, and I had begun to doubt God’s goodness. I still felt the desire to become great but simply had no energy to continue trying, I hit the point where I wondered if it mattered that I ever tried.
So as I walked in to the small concert venue in North Hollywood that I had recently begun to call my church. I was expecting a lot from God today, I felt God owed me some amazing gesture. And maybe He did. But as the meeting began, nothing was coming. There was no flash of light or grandiose vision of god-sent information. Just the muffled sounds of men praying silently to them selves. Finally someone began speaking a little louder as to pray for the whole group. “Oh good” I thought, finally, revelation time. The man speaking didn’t disappoint, as far as what I thought would be good hearing important messages from God dialogue. And as I shut my eyes a little tighter and he really got into it- letting some “pierce our hearts” and “we beseech you god”‘s, fly left and right. He spoke with charisma and volume, using the most popular words and phrases used nowadays to appease and coarse God into doing things for us. I was ready, surly this would be the time God would meet me, surely he would hear me nodding my head to the extremely spiritual things being said. But as I stood there trying my best to get caught up in the emotion of the gaudy display. Nothing…I tried and tried, ready to hear a deep and insightful message from god, but nothing.
After the prayer had finished the rest of us were a little wary of stepping up to the proverbial mic. I mean who want to follow an act like that. But I to be completely honest was a little peeved, I was put off by the lack of revelation from God-And as I started to silently give God a piece of my mind on how he should have shown up. I was in the middle of my mental monologue to the almighty when I heard another voice gently but confidently emerge from the room, one of the other men had begun to pray aloud and he said this “God, hug us today, we need you to hug us”. He said a few other things and then ended his prayer. I was hit, I felt as if a God gun had gone off in my face. God wanted to hug me, this maker of the universe and god of the world can and wants to hug me, to show me love. He wants to wrap the arms that hold the world, around me. He wants me to feel him, and have me know he holds me, that he sees everything I’m going through, and feels my hurt and just wants to hold and comfort me. There it was.
There I was walking around being spiritual, and waiting for God to show me some amazing, deep, insightful, message from heaven. And the whole time while I was waiting for what I thought I needed, He wanted to hug me.
I have nothing against grandiose gestures and deep theology, but so often I forget the simplest things that God so desperately wants me to know. Jesus told us to come to him as a child, and to often I expect adult truths and answers to my questions, when all I really need is a fathers embrace. A hug.
I think we all every now and again ignore some of the simple truths our loving father wants us to know, so here is a list of a few of them. Just to remind you of something things you might have forgotten. If you have any extras you would like to share please do.
God Loves you, specifically you.
God created you, with a design and purpose.
You are created beautifully.
You will never be good enough to earn His love, He just loves you.
We will never be perfect, and we will never understand everything.
God cares when you hurt.
These are not deep. But they are true and they are exactly what we all need to know and to hear.